- Curious Jay
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- 19 lessons from 19 years of life
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Today I turn 19!
It’s been a year to remember: graduating high school, running my first half marathon, marketing a NYT best-selling book, starting college, growing my content service business, going viral, writing this weekly newsletter, and a lot of incredible adventures.
But most importantly, I’m finally starting to feel proud of who I’m becoming.
19 things I’ve learned at 19:
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1/ You can do anything, but not everything.
One of the most difficult skills to learn is how to say ‘no’ to good opportunities so you can create room for great ones.
2/ Most people are much more approachable than you think.
Shoot your shot. Send the DM. Be smart about it, but don’t put people on pedestals.
3/ Reframe failures to experiments.
When you’re early in your career, you’re not supposed to have everything figured out. You’re in the “free trial” of your adult life—so act like it. Join new clubs. Read hard books. Start that business idea. The point isn’t to be a success right now; the point is to learn what you like (and don’t like).
4/ Playing sports is an underrated way to stay active.
I joined an intramural basketball team at my college. SO much more fun than running 4+ miles by myself. It also helps keep that competitive edge alive.
5/ What’s not your fault can still be your responsibility.
You can always find someone to blame for your problems… but does that solve your problems?
6/ Moving fast is a competitive advantage.
Doing more “research” is a smart person’s favorite way to procrastinate. The most successful people I know shrink the distance between idea and implementation. By the time most people have pondered an idea, they’ve made 5 mistakes and learned 5 lessons.
7/ If you don’t sacrifice for what you want, what you want becomes the sacrifice.
There are no “wrong” choices, but there are trade offs. Every time you say ‘yes’ to something that doesn’t align with your goals, you say ‘no’ to what you truly want. Is everything in life about achieving your goals? Not necessarily. But it’s important to be intentional about the opportunity cost of your actions.
8/ Sharing your ideas on the internet is an opportunity magnet.
I’m convinced writing online is one of the fastest ways to accelerate your career. When you make your mission public—you attract people, ideas, and opportunities to you. I can attribute everything great in my career back to writing online.
9/ If you don’t know what to work on, work on yourself.
Wake up early. Go to the gym. Read hard books. Fall in love with personal development. Swap scrolling social media, drinking, and loitering time with things that benefit you. Your future self, spouse, and family will thank you.
10/ The faster you chase happiness, the faster it runs away.
You’re unhappy because you think you should be happy all of the time. But what if the point of life wasn’t to be happy; what if it was to experience the full range of emotions (sadness, anger, anxiety, fear, envy all included). Expecting reality to be something other than what it is—is the source of your discontentment.
11/ Good information for one person can be bad advice for another.
The more I hang around the people I look up to, the more I realize that all advice is contextual. They can’t teach you how you should it; they can only teach you how they did it. Follow their advice. Test its limits. Then write your own rules.
12/ The best productivity hack is to put your phone away.
I’m not kidding. Turn notifications off. Put it in a drawer away from view. Thank me later.
13/ In almost every situation, there’s a third door.
In school, we’re taught that there’s one, correct answer. In life, there are almost always multiple possible solutions to a problem. As Steve Jobs said:
“Life can be so much broader, once you discover one simple fact, and that is that everything around you that you call ‘life’ was made up by people who were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.”
14/ Ambition without action becomes anxiety.
No one is more anxious than an ambitious person with lots of drive but nowhere to direct it. Like a gun turned on its owner, your intense emotions redirect inward, festering, lingering, multiplying until you can’t take it anymore. You need a mission. An aim. Something to channel your energy. If you haven’t found your thing, keep searching. Keep moving. Keep trying things. Don’t let your ambition bottle up, because it will eat you inside out.
15/ Your body is like a bank account that everyone can see.
Nothing screams “self-respect” and “discipline” like someone with a fit body. It’s the ultimate status symbol because you can’t cheat your way there.
16/ Audit your content diet.
What you consume becomes what you think. What you think becomes your reality. When people ask me how to be more creative, I always ask, “What are you feeding your mind?” If you want to think differently, consume differently.
17/ Networking is overrated.
The traditional approach to networking is broken. It’s not about shoving a bunch of business cards into people’s hands at networking events. It’s about being useful. It’s about giving value before you ask for anything in return. Go do something great… and your network will emerge.
18/ Empathy is underrated.
Empathy is the foundation of all communication. There’s no greater skill than the ability to place yourself in the minds of others. As an entrepreneur, marketer, and human being.
19/ Stay in the game long enough to get lucky.
Never bet against the person who continuously invests in themselves with a ruthless focus and relentless consistency. Play the long game… there’s less competition.
Thanks for everything—it’s been an incredible ride.
Jay “birthday boy” Yang
Ps. This week is an exclusive launch for my new product, Viral Content Vault.
I won’t pretend to be an expert copywriter or marketer.
But engaging social media content has been the driving force behind my business. There’s nothing like leveraging the power of infinite reach to attract your ideal customers and clients.
So I put together a content database that condenses everything you need into simple, follow-along frameworks.
If that sounds like it’s up your alley, take a read:
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