10 Lessons From My Abnormal High School Experience

According to the Myers-Briggs personality test, I’m an INTJ.

For those who aren’t familiar, here’s what those letters stand for:

I - Introverted
N - Intuition
T - Thinking
J - Judgment

INTJs are logical and quick-witted. They question most things and base their beliefs on solid evidence, not conventional wisdom.

Which means I pride myself on my ability to think for myself. I’m single-minded, and driven, and have little patience for anyone who tries to slow me down.

But being an INTJ is both a blessing and a curse.

I judge people preemptively. I struggle to empathize with different perspectives. And I can be overly critical of people who don’t view life with the same lens as I do.

I’m not perfect. I’ve worked hard to reframe the judgment archetype to “discerning”, where I can observe behaviors, decide if they align with my values, and make decisions about how I want to live without demonizing or labeling another way of doing things as bad.

This drift toward independence has led me to explore alternate ways of living different from the conventional path. I observed the habits, lifestyles, and character traits of people who took the conventional path. And as I’ve said many times, this path terrified me…

Go to college. Get good grades. Get a ‘safe’ job. Work 40 hours a week in a cubicle. Work until you’re 65+. And save your best adventures until retirement.

I wanted a different outcome.

Not good or bad.

Just different.

So I made it my mission to build the foundation of the life I want, not the one I settled for.

I went to YouTube and self-taught myself copywriting, marketing, and visual design. I worked for free until I could charge for my skills. I took meetings during class.

That single-mindedness has allowed me to achieve many goals in my brief career.

• Worked at 3 tech startups

• Made six figures in online income

• Built a network of fellow ambitious people

• Grown an online audience of 200,000+ followers

• And now I’m working as Head of Content to Noah Kagan

But I’ve also sacrificed other aspects of my life.

I quit playing varsity basketball and running cross country. I rarely went to any school clubs. And I gave up video games freshman year.

Here are 10 lessons from my abnormal high school experience:

#1: Beware The Spotlight Effect

The Spotlight Effect is a psychological phenomenon where we tend to think other people are thinking about us more than they actually are.

For a long time, I didn’t tell anyone that I created content online. I was scared of being judged and made fun of.

In reality, everyone is too busy thinking about themselves to notice.

Stop worrying about what others think and do the thing you know you should be doing.

#2: Prioritize People

In 1938, Harvard researchers embarked on a decades-long study and found that positive relationships were the most important factor in living a happy and fulfilled life.

Everything in life comes down to people and relationships.

My favorite classes had little to do with WHAT I was studying and everything to do with WHO I was learning with.

Relationships compound just like any financial investment.

#3: Take Ownership of Your Learning

I used to get bored in class and blame my teachers for being boring. But the truth is it’s no one’s job to make you excited to learn. That’s on you.

Sure you can blame them for your problems—but does that solve your problems?

Instead, take ownership of your learning. Set aside a monthly ‘Education Tax’ to invest in books, courses, and mentorships.

And when you’re bored in class, teach yourself how to learn EVEN when a topic is boring. Kids make excuses. Adults find solutions.

#4: Insecurity is Loud, Confidence is Quiet

People who boast about their accomplishments are often trying to divert attention away from their insecurities.

But true confidence comes from self-perception, not external validation. Self-confidence comes from repeatedly showing yourself that you can do more than you first believed. It has nothing to do with seeking validation from others.

Quiet confidence is confidence. Noisy confidence is theatre.

#5: Closed Mouths Don’t Get Fed

I landed an internship at beehiiv by asking. I got a raise by asking. I got my first customers by asking.

You can get pretty far in life just by asking for things most are too afraid to ask for. You'll be surprised by how willing most people are to help you.

If you want a job, you have to ask for it.

If you want a date, you have to ask for it.

If you want customers, you have to ask for it.

It's cliche as hell — but if you don't ask, the answer will always be no.

#6: Go on More Adventures

This past year, I skipped school (twice) to fly to different cities. First to San Francisco. Next to Austin.

The obedient rule-follower in me was fearful — but it was the best decision I could’ve made. I learned more from those two trips than the entire rest of the semester (bold statement, I know).

Even more importantly, I collected amazing stories I can share in the future.

Taking a few days off school won’t make or break your grades, but never taking the time to explore will starve your soul.

Life is too short to only live within the lines.

#7: Use Your Free Time Wisely

If you’re a young person, I can’t stress this enough:

"Enjoy your youth" by building the foundation for the life you want.

• Start a side hustle

• Run into problems

• Self-educate on YouTube

• Keep stacking skills and evolving

Doing this changed my life. Not only are you forced to learn the hard skills of offer creation, marketing, and fulfillment — but you're also forced to learn discipline, emotional management, and sound decision-making.

Starting a business is the greatest vehicle for self-improvement.

Don’t listen to anyone telling you you’re “too young” to start a business. There's no reason why you can't actively work toward the life you want when you're young.

#8: Don’t be afraid of being different

If you don’t want to upset people, be mediocre. Be normal. Fit in. But as Aristotle once said, “There’s only one way to avoid criticism: say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing.”

Average actions get average results.

If you want to achieve exceptional results, you have to do things that most aren't doing. You have to be willing to be different. Which means being comfortable with being mocked, criticized, and hated.

If you want to live a life that most people don’t live, you have to do what most people don’t do.

#9: Nobody Has It All Figured Out

I used to think everyone else had it all figured out, and I put a lot of pressure on myself to map out my entire future.

The truth?

EVERYONE is figuring it out as they go.

One of the biggest unlocks was making friends with people from Twitter who were the same age (or older) as my high school teachers.

I realized that even the ‘authority figures’ in my life were winging it too.

Stop putting people on pedestals. Admire. Respect. Be inspired. But don’t fool yourself into thinking they’re more ‘special’ than you are.

Instead of trying to predict where you’ll end up in the future, focus on pointing your compass in the right direction and taking daily action.

#10: The “Good Old Days” Are Happening Now

This past year was a brutal reminder that this season of my life is coming to a close.

Senior year is a season of lasts. Last bus rides. Last big rivalry games. Last post-practice locker room banter. Last homecoming. Last class field trip.

As much as I spent most of my time longing for high school to be over, there’s nothing like being 18, with little to worry about, and lots of time to have fun.

The “good old days” are happening now.

Relish it. Rejoice in it. Respect it.

It’s over before you know it.

See you next Sunday,

Jay “Living The Good Old Days” Yang

PS — Lastly, and most importantly, the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. A timeless piece of wisdom. Never forget that. 😉

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