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How to learn to love rejection
The Coffee Challenge
1. A Game-Changing Idea
Fear of rejection controls more of your life than you think.
It stops you from asking for raises, pitching that big idea, or reaching out to someone who could change your life. But what if you could rewire your brain to see rejection not as failure but as a stepping stone to growth?
Enter The Coffee Challenge: a simple exercise designed to help you embrace rejection, eliminate fear, and build unshakable confidence.
2. The Idea in Action
In the early days of his entrepreneurial journey, Noah Kagan noticed something surprising: even highly ambitious people let the fear of rejection hold them back. They avoided negotiating, pitching bold ideas, or asking for opportunities—not because they weren’t capable, but because they were terrified of hearing “no.”
So, Noah created The Coffee Challenge: a low-stakes way to train your brain to handle rejection. The rules are simple:
Go to your local coffee shop.
Order your coffee.
Ask for 10% off—no explanation, no justification. Just ask.
That’s it.
Sounds easy, right? But as you approach the counter, you’ll likely feel your heart race and your palms sweat. Asking for a discount in such an ordinary setting feels awkward and vulnerable. And that’s exactly the point.
Why does this work?
Rejection triggers your fight-or-flight response—it’s the same ancient mechanism that helped our ancestors survive predators. But in modern life, rejection isn’t a lion chasing you; it’s just an uncomfortable conversation. The Coffee Challenge helps your brain unlearn that emotional charge by exposing you to rejection in a controlled, low-stakes environment.
The goal? Reframe rejection as feedback, not failure.
3. How You Can Apply It
Here’s how to get started with The Coffee Challenge:
Step 1: Visit a Coffee Shop (or any store for that matter) and Ask for a Discount
The goal isn’t to actually get the discount; it’s to feel the discomfort, ask anyway, and learn that rejection isn’t the end of the world.
Step 2: Observe Your Emotions
Pay attention to how you feel before, during, and after the experience. Notice your initial anxiety—and the relief that follows when nothing bad happens.
Step 3: Repeat Until Rejection Feels Normal
With repetition, the fear of rejection fades. You’ll begin to realize that a “no” is just a moment, not a disaster.
Once you’ve mastered this, take the lesson beyond the coffee shop:
Start conversations with strangers on the train
Ask for introductions to people who can help you grow.
Negotiate for the raise you’ve been hesitating to ask for.
Rejection will stop being a roadblock and become just another part of the process.
Until next week,
Jay “Collect Rejections Like Treasures” Yang
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Top Tweets of The Week
Success is being excited to go to work and being excited to come home.
— Will Ahmed (@willahmed)
2:57 PM • Jan 8, 2025
One of the best definitions of success I’ve come across.
Any creator/person-led brand will always be limited by how much people want to be like the creator
Which is why it's important to have multiple dimensions, and different worlds to tap into. Entirely different audiences for the same person
Artist, Athlete, Entrepreneur ♾
— Zach 🏴 (@zachpogrob)
7:00 PM • Nov 27, 2024
People follow people they want to be like.
My favorite piece of career advice that I share every year:
Reduce uncertainty for others as much as you can.
Become an uncertainty killer.I guarantee that if you can make other peoples’ lives more certain, your career will take off like never before.
— Nick Maggiulli (@dollarsanddata)
1:30 PM • Jan 6, 2025
Amen.
Your brain is software. Upgrade it by reading books, learning new skills, and exploring new ideas.
Your body is hardware. Upgrade it with a physical discipline: Run, lift, bike, do pilates; it doesn’t matter.
— Jonathan Goodman 🇨🇦 (@itscoachgoodman)
3:32 PM • Jan 3, 2025
Love that analogy.
2-3 hours a day. every single day. do that for a year. watch how good you get.
it's simple math.
— Jay Yang (@Jayyanginspires)
3:18 AM • Jan 11, 2025
If you don’t sacrifice for what you want, what you want becomes the sacrifice.
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