I spent a week in New York

What I learned…

One thing I’ve learned about myself: I’m easily inspired.

Which means I spend a disproportionate amount of time curating my information diet so I’m inspired to do things that move me closer to my North Star.

I mute, block, and unfollow liberally. I find people living lives similar to how I want to live, then binge all their ideas. I revisit my North Star at least every month and ask myself, “Will my current habits carry me to my desired future?”

It’s so easy to outsource your desires to those around you. What they want becomes what you want. What they think is possible becomes what you think is possible. Resist the entropy of conformity.

Changing your life is always hardest at the start. Matthew’s principle states, “To those who have, more will be given.” It’s a fancy way of saying the rich get richer while the poor get poorer.

Momentum works the same way. Those who have it gain more, and those who don’t stay stuck. There’s a reason pushing a parked car is so hard, but once it’s rolling, a single finger can keep it moving.

Do everything in your power to create momentum in your life, and realize that the beginning is supposed to feel impossible. Keep pushing.

Eventually, everyone realizes that competence is the only reliable source of self-esteem. No amount of affirmation or validation can replace the confidence that comes from knowing you can create results even when conditions aren’t ideal.

Steve Jobs on starting over:

“I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.”

Jeremy Bullmore on the power of brand and creating future demand:

“Many years ago, Len Heath, then in his mid-40s, sold his interest in an advertising agency and took me out to lunch. Afterward, he offered to drive me back to my office, but I protested. My office was no more than a 10-minute walk away.

Len insisted, and when we got to his car, I understood why. It was a shining, stunning, elegant, arrogant late-model Aston Martin. It was the first time I’d been inside an Aston Martin, and it didn’t disappoint.

“You may be interested to know why I bought this car,” Len said. “I bought it because I saw an advertisement for it.”

“Well, fancy that,” I replied.

“That’s not the interesting part,” Len said. “What’s interesting is that I saw that advertisement when I was 14.”

I spent the last week in New York sleeping on a friend's couch, with no real agenda other than to meet as many of my internet friends in person as possible and see what their lives actually looked like up close.

In 8 days I had over 40 conversations - walk-and-talks, sauna sessions, dinners, coffee meetups, poker nights, workout sessions, hangouts at the office.

I left feeling like my ambition had been rekindled.

The more I travel, the more I learn about myself. What I like and what I don't, what I want and what I'm certain I don't. I'm getting a clearer picture of how I want to live, and I think a large part of that clarity has come from sitting across from people who are living lives I’m curious about and exploring their perspective.

It's a little absurd that we expect 18-year-olds to know what they want out of life before they've experienced any of it. So much of what we want is shaped by what the people around us want, what our parents want, what our friends seem to be doing, the very particular and limited slice of the world we happened to grow up inside.

If you never leave that field of vision, you'll be like a horse with blinders on - moving, yes, but not necessarily in a direction you chose.

This past week I got to sample so many different versions of life. Conversations about building a ghostwriting agency, scaling an app, being a CEO, working at a tech startup.

Conversations about relationships, heartbreak, rejection, what it's like being an old soul in a young man's body, what it's like being ambitious and also wanting to have fun.

So many beautiful dichotomies and complexities and paradoxes with no answer, and how everyone, without exception, thought the grass was greener somewhere else.

If you're a longtime reader of this newsletter, you might be noticing a pattern in what I've been writing about these past few months.

I’ve been reflecting a lot on success and happiness, what it means to have “enough”, how I want to show up in the world, and what a good life looks like.

Maybe it’s a symptom of growing up. Or maybe it's just me finally hitting a threshold where I'm forming opinions on these things.

What I can say is this:

If you feel lost or stuck or uncertain, get outside of your field of vision.

Take some time off. Travel the world. Start interesting projects. Pursue mentors. Talk to people. Say yes to things that scare and excite you.

No amount of studying life will replace what you learn living it.

Until next week,