10 Lessons From Meeting Internet Friends Face to Face

Hello friends and welcome to curious jay! If you want to join 7,000 other readers learning about life and business, subscribe below:

Feel free to check out my other articles and follow me on Twitter, and if you want to chat about writing, newsletters, social media, or well, anything else in general, book a call here!

Yesterday, I spent the day in Chicago with two friends I met on Twitter.

A few months ago, we crossed paths through the serendipity of the internet. Since connecting on Twitter, we’ve hopped on Zoom calls and traded tons of notes and resources.

When I heard they were planning an in-person podcast, I thought it’d be great to meet up, exchange ideas, and have lunch afterward.

I left the meetup with new energy to grow, and a lot of interesting, non-obvious learnings.

This morning, I went on a walk and attempted to synthesize my most important takeaways from the meetup.

My top 10 learnings (on life, career, and business):

1) Take Ownership of Your Learning

Most people stop learning after they graduate from school.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that the most successful people never stop learning.

A great way to take ownership of your learning is to engage in “Learning Sprints”.

1. Pick a topic you want to learn about

2. Pick 3-5 books on that topic

3. Read and take rigorous notes

4. Share your notes publicly

5. Create a side project and apply your learnings

Doing just one learning sprint will put you in the top 10% of any field.

Now imagine doing several learning sprints in a row. Imagine how much your learning, career, and business will flourish.

Knowledge compounds faster than capital.

2) We’re ALL Winging It

No one knows exactly what they want to do with their life.

We’re all making things up as we go.

As a young person, it’s comforting to know that you don’t have to have everything figured out.

The best thing you can do is get started in a direction, follow your curiosity, and surround yourself with the right people.

Instead of trying to predict what the future will look like, focus on positioning yourself for success.

3) Find Intellectual Sparring Partners

Friends are abundant. Intellectual sparring partners are scarce.

A friend will tell you what you want to hear. An intellectual sparring partner will challenge your assumptions and push you to be better.

When you find someone who’s willing to trade harmony for truth, keep them close.

Note to self: Be that person for others. Sacrifice short-term harmony for long-term growth.

4) Know the Game You’re Playing

Always know what game you’re playing and what the prize is for winning that game.

Failure occurs when (1) we aren’t aware of the game we’re playing or (2) when we win and realize we didn’t want the prize in the first place.

It’s important to ask yourself:

1. What game am I playing?

2. Do I want the prize for winning this game?

Don’t climb the ladder of success while being on the wrong wall.

5) Connect Without Expectations

The Network Razor: "Networks don't divide as you share them, they multiply.”

Whenever you can connect two people who would benefit from knowing each other, always do it.

Who knows, maybe they’ll connect you with one of their friends in the future.

Note to self: An important question to think about is, “What qualities would make someone want to connect YOU with one of their friends?”

6) Avoid Stupidity

A lot of times, we can get too caught up in analyzing the past and worrying about the future. It can be difficult to fully enjoy the present.

But if you’re reading this newsletter — and you’re trending in the right direction — chances are you’re already way ahead of everyone else.

You’d have to do something extremely stupid to derail your current trajectory.

Instead of worrying excessively about the future, focus on these two things:

1. Don’t disrupt compounding unnecessarily (Don’t make hasty decisions when you’re HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired)

2. Avoid stupidity (committing crimes, ruining your reputation, etc.)

7) You Are What You Consume

Every thought you think is downstream of something you’ve previously consumed.

A useful rule of thumb: Replace short-form content with long-form content

If you do consume social media:

1. Mute and block liberally

2. Use it to learn what NOT to do

3. Use it to study sentence structure

4. Use it as a launch pad to dive deeper into an idea

Just like the food you eat becomes your physical self. The content you consume becomes your mental self.

8) Create Forcing Functions

A forcing function is a behavior-shaping constraint.

They help you turn your desired change into a reality.

Here are two examples:

1. You want to get better at writing → You start a weekly newsletter to force you to publish your thoughts at least once a week.

2. You want to get better at public speaking → You start a podcast where you’re forced to talk with people on a regular basis.

In any area of your life — work, relationships, fitness — create forcing functions that deliberately guide you to your desired destination.

9) Not All Audiences Are Created Equal

There’s a common trap I see many people make on social media.

They equate a large following to intelligence and authority. I know this because I myself fell into it. I used to idolize people with large followings only to learn that was only a tiny fraction of who they really were.

Knowing how to game the algorithm and sharing useful ideas are not the same.

I’ve met people with an audience of over 1,000,000+ people but they had little substance when talking with them. I’ve met people with 3 followers and our conversations were energetic, lively, and filled with interesting stories and concepts.

Note to self: The content you produce determines the audience you attract. If you post about how to make your first $1k/mo on Twitter, you’ll attract people who haven’t made $1k/mo. Quality > Quantity

10) Make Time Your Ally

One workout won’t make you ripped. One salad won’t make you healthy. One book won’t make you smart. But the culmination of those tiny actions will compound over time.

• What actions can you take today to make tomorrow easier for your future self?
• What actions can you take now that will compound favorably over time?
• How can you make time your ally, instead of your enemy?

Just keep stacking days. Day after day, rep after rep.

Persistence removes all doubt.

Writing Online is an Opportunity Magnet

Two years ago, I committed to sharing my learnings and ideas online.

Everything great in my career, I can attribute to publishing that first tweet.

I’ve learned so many foundational skills, met so many amazing people, and received so many life-changing opportunities.

Your age, race, and geographical location are all irrelevant. All that matters is the value of the ideas you share.

If you think you have nothing valuable to share, know this:

I’ve studied hundreds of elite athletes and entrepreneurs. They all began at the same place: no money, no skills, no experience. The difference is that they chose to start anyway.

If you’re debating whether you should start writing online… trust me: it’s worth it.

Jay “Writing Online Is An Opportunity Magnet” Yang