In The Paleolithic Age (or Stone Age), humans were hunter-gatherers.

Which means they lived and operated in tribes.

They hunted with their tribe. They traded with their tribe. They worked together with their tribe.

Tribes meant safety.

If you didn’t have a tribe, you were as good as dead.

But in the digital age, humans no longer need to rely on the safety of a tribe.

We’re living in the most “connected” period in human history. Yet, there has also never been a time before when people felt as isolated as we do now.

Most people are afraid of solitude. They fear silence, so they distract themselves with noise from the outside world.

In 2014, Science Magazine published a study in which participants were placed in a room for 15 minutes by themselves.

And they were told to just sit there with this electric shocker.

A little over 2/3 of the participants chose to shock themselves rather than sit there, in silence, with their thoughts.

They chose pain over boredom.

Why?

Why are we so afraid of ourselves?

Why are we so afraid of being alone?

I believe it’s because we’ve forgotten the art of being alone…

The Lost Art of Being Alone

“Be yourself.”

“Follow your curiosity.”

“Just do what feels right for you.”

How many times have you heard these pieces of advice?

They’re well-intentioned, but they miss the root problem.

How can you know what “you” want, if you don’t know who “you” are?

Do you see the problem? As author Ryan Holiday says, “It’s difficult to idealize yourself, if you’re never by yourself.”

1) Solitude allows you to get to know yourself.

Solitude brings clarity.

Who are you when you’re by yourself?

We’ll get to the actionable exercises later in this letter, but for now, understand that knowing who “you” are is key to everything else (in life, business, and your relationships).

The second reason to be by yourself more is so you can work on yourself.

Being by yourself allows you to reflect on what you truly want and work towards that positive future.

2) Solitude allows you to make progress toward your vision.

The truth is, you feel anxious about the future for 2 reasons:

1. You don’t know what you truly want

2. You’re not actively taking steps to make your desired future a reality

I’m not making this up - It’s called cognitive dissonance. When our actions and beliefs don’t align, we feel tension.

And the last reason is this:

3) Solitude breeds innovation.

My best ideas usually come when I’m by myself, on a walk, in the shower, or at my desk. But it’s not just me: Aristotle, Albert Einstein, Nikola Tesla, and more… ALL swear by solitude. Solitude is a catalyst for creativity.

But what should you do in your solitude? How should you be alone?

Practice 1 Hour of SoloWork

SoloWork is any habit or activity you do for yourself or your future self.

I personally practice SoloWork for 1 hour each morning - but it can be at anytime, anywhere, on anything.

The only requirement is that it’s for the benefit of you and your mission.

1) Sit in silence

The first step to solitude is getting comfortable being alone. Sit in silence and observe your thoughts. Don’t judge them, simply observe.

Overstimulation dulls the mind. You’ll find it hard to sit still without getting distracted. When you find your focus wavering, pull yourself back to the present.

Notice your breath.

Notice negative thoughts like, “This is so stupid.”

Use this time to just be. You don’t need to do anything, just be present.

2) Write

The next mental habit is writing. Writing is sense-making. Writing clarifies the jumbled mess that is your thoughts. It helps you understand, distinguish, and filter your thoughts.

What do you write about?

Anything. But I tend to write about what I want my ideal future to look like:

• What do I value most?
• What kind of life do I want?
• What do I want my life to look like, and feel like?

Most people don't live with intention, they live on autopilot.

• What would my life look like if I took it seriously?
• What would it look like if I began to create it intentionally?

You’ll inevitably come across friction and mental blocks. This is good. It’s like your muscles burning on your last rep at the gym.

Push through. That’s the only way you’ll gain clarity on your vision.

3) Build

Most people aren’t bored, they have nothing to work towards.

They need something to build. Something to tinker with. Something to gain progress on.

Why? Because of The Project Paradox…

The Project Paradox: Your projects work on you more than you work on them.

• What project can you start to improve yourself?
• What project can you start to build high-value skills?
• What projects can you start to get you closer to your positive future?

When you mix deep thinking with violent action, actualizing your vision is inevitable.

Example projects:

• Building a personal brand
• Building a newsletter
• Building your body
• Building a fence
• Building a blog

4) Evolve

Hopefully, you’ve noticed a common theme among these steps…

Evolution.

You first get comfortable being alone. Then you organize your mind. Then you build towards your positive future. It’s all hierarchical.

In a time where we’re always moving, doing, and zooming about our lives - It’s important to take a step back and reflect on what we truly want.

And then dedicate time to making our dreams and aspirations a reality.

Because, ultimately, that’s how progress is made.

Make time for your ideal future.

Jay “Don’t Be Afraid of Solitude” Yang

P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here's how I can help you:

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JAY'S PICKS: 🔥

• Shaan Puri breaks down the pitch deck template he used to raise millions from investors.

• Anthony Pompliano deconstructs how he makes his money and how young people can stand out on the internet.

• James Clear explains how people should live an intentional life.

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