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The Ultimate Guide to Building A Network Online
This is a juicy one...
Something I'm learning as I'm getting older: the best way to inspire your friends is to simply live a good life and let your life be an example of what's possible.
If you think you're behind in life, just remember there are hundreds of thousands of people who type words in Instagram comment sections because a post told them it was 11:11 and it would help manifest their future.
You're doing fine.
Villains and heroes both experience hardships. One uses it, the other is used by it.
It’s inevitable that you will face moments where things feel unfair, where the odds feel stacked against you, where it would be easier to be cynical than to keep going.
In those moments, you get the opportunity to choose what you believe.
When in doubt, choose the one that serves your higher self rather than your current self.
American journalist and author Hunter S. Thompson on finding your purpose:
"A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance."
Comedian Jerry Seinfeld on the advice he gives to young comedians:
"Get good at something. Everything else is bullshit."
"Your network is your net worth."
"It's not what you know, it's who you know."
"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."
You hear it all the time. Networking plays an essential role in advancing your career and business. But how do you actually go about it in a non-icky way? And more importantly, where do you even start?
Let's first start with defining what "networking" is and why it matters:
The dictionary defines networking as "the process of making connections and building relationships."
I can't think of a better definition than that, so let's stick with that for now.
Why is it important?
British physicist David Deutsch defines wealth as "the repertoire of physical transformations that you can be capable of causing."
The investor, Jeremy Giffon, says, "A real marker of wealth is how many problems you can solve by simply texting a guy."
There are a bazillion other definitions for wealth, and honestly, I think it is a personal definition. But if wealth is your ability to live your life the way you want to live, then your network is what increases the probability that you live that life.
Okay, so now that we're both on the same page, how do you actually build your network?
The answer? Don't think about networking at all!
Let's run a thought experiment:
Imagine there's a table with Jeff Bezos, Tom Brady, and Harry Styles. What could you possibly offer that would make them want to invite you to their table?
Donating to their favorite charities won't help. There's no one you can introduce them to that they can't already meet. The only thing you could possibly offer is information, a unique perspective, an insight on something that's happening in your corner of the universe that they can't buy off a shelf.
It sucks to say, because it's hard, but the best networking hack is to be great. To increase your value in the marketplace. Because the truth is, winners want to hang around winners. The rooms I'm able to gain access to are ten-fold now that I have a skillset, an audience, and a track record of results.
That said, I don't think it's as black and white as increasing your value and not thinking about networking at all. Like most things, you can do both. It's a false dichotomy to think you have to only care about skill building or only care about networking.
So how do you go about getting in front of the right people?
1/ Write upwards, not downwards
When most people think about creating content online, they think about giving advice to people who are a few steps behind them: how-to playbooks, frameworks, templates, etc.
Which is not a bad approach if you're trying to build an audience, but if you’re writing content so that you can build a network, then you have to also write upwards. You have to write for the people you admire.
So instead of trying to teach your business frameworks, you find your target and you curate, summarize, and synthesize their business frameworks and tag them, feature them, and highlight them.
Here's an example:
By synthesizing Shaan’s ideas and tagging him, I increase my visibility and show that I’m a like-minded person.
2/ If you like something, tell the creator
The cool part about the internet these days is you can literally reach out to anyone, for free, and reasonably guarantee that the message will land in their inbox.
Yet, in my opinion, not enough people reach out to the creators of the things that they love and tell them that they love it.
I have met many of the people I've looked up to simply because I sent them a message with a compliment and then started the relationship there.
A compliment can quickly become a conversation, which can quickly become a relationship.
Here's an example of me complimenting Mike McGuiness, who founded Startup Archive.
That simple message led to us hopping on a call, which led to us working together.
3/ If you think of someone, say something nice
On a similar note, if you think something nice about someone, tell them. Don't gatekeep your compliments.
One of the things that slightly pisses me off about funerals is the eulogy. Everyone takes turns saying these incredible things about the person who passed away, and that person never gets to hear any of it. Why do we wait until someone is gone to tell them how much they meant to us?
Same thing with friends. We talk positively about them behind their backs all the time but rarely say it to their face.
Pretty much every day now, whenever I think of something nice about a friend or someone who's been on my mind, I tell them. It can be as simple as, "Hey, thought about you the other day. Keep crushing." Let people know they're on your mind and that you care about them, because otherwise they won't know.
4/ Pebble more
When male penguins want to show affection, they search for the perfect pebble and offer it to their mate. If it's accepted, it becomes the first stone in the nest they'll build together.
I've always loved that image because it shows that even the strongest relationships start with something small. In practice, a pebble can look like:
You reading an article that reminds you of a conversation you had with someone, so you send it over.
Hearing a podcast that's relevant to what a friend is working on, so you text it to them.
Finishing a book and immediately recommending it to someone who needs to read it.
Here's an example of a pebble that I sent to a friend because he had recently moved to San Francisco:
5/ Be the initiator
If you want to learn something, put together a group of people who also want to learn or achieve a similar goal, and then share tactics and be positive-sum.
If you’re not invited to the rooms that you want to be invited in, create your own room. You can just do things :)
For pretty much every single thing that I wanted to get good at, I've created a group:
When I wanted to learn Twitter, I created a group.
When I wanted to learn copywriting, I created a group.
When I wanted to run the marathon, I created a group.
Never underestimate the group chat.
6/ Turn internet friends into IRL friends
The internet allows you to meet anyone in the entire world and build a relationship with them. But there's still something to be said about the texture and depth of an in-person relationship that you just can't replicate over DMs.
When you're traveling and you're in a new city, reach out to your internet friends who live there and meet up. I guarantee you won’t regret it.
Visited SF & went on a hike w friends
I hope this guide has been helpful. Are there more nuances? I'm sure there are. Is there a way to network without being online? I'm sure there is.
Personally, I found creating content and building a personal brand (or whatever you want to call it) to be the most beneficial approach.
I started doing this when I was 15 and in high school, and now that I'm 20, I've had five years of that network compounding. To the point where I genuinely believe that if I went broke and lost everything tomorrow, I could build it back within a week because of the people I know.
If you take anything away from this, let it be this: Networking doesn't have to be this big, scary thing. It can be as simple as texting a friend when you think about them.
And remember, the best time to dig the well is before you're thirsty. Similarly, the best time to build a network is before you need it.
You can grab your copy here.
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